Written 7/16/2005

I don’t know if this happens to everyone else, but it seems to me that no matter what I buy or order, I always get a defective one the first time around.  I remember back when I started making a little bit of money and could suddenly afford to buy nicer things.   

One of the first things I got was a $1,600 Swarovski scope for my deer rifle.  Top of the line, Austrian made, you’d think it would work perfectly out of the box.  Wrong.  I put it on my rifle and took it to the range, admittedly feeling a bit proud of myself for having such a nice scope.  I sat down at the range bench and plugged a bore-sight into the muzzle of the rifle.  There were some obvious adjustments to be made, so I unscrewed the turret covers and tried to lower the elevation reticle.  It wouldn’t budge.  

Wow, I thought, this thing can’t be bottomed out.  I tried turning the dial the other way, but it still wouldn’t move.  I turned a little harder, and heard a sickening little scritttch sound.  The sound of something stripped.  The sound of something that didn’t want to move in the direction I was trying to move it.  More fiddling produced the same results.  My face was hot with embarrassment as I turned to Ted, my hunting buddy, and told him that my new scope was defective. 

With my first hunting trip weeks away, I was dismayed.  A year in the planning, I would be soon leaving for Montana and had a useless scope on my rifle.   I rushed home and called Swarovski, but their service department is closed on Saturdays.  For once, Monday couldn’t get here fast enough. 

And of course when I finally got through to them, Swarovski had never heard of a problem like this.  “A scritttch sound,” they asked me.  “We’ve never had a scope make a sound like that.”  Great.  Admittedly, they were fantastic to deal with.  With time to spare before my trip, I had a replacement scope in hand that worked as designed. 

And then earlier this year, I decided to upgrade my ear muffs for the shooting range.  I was hitting the trap and skeet range more frequently than I had in recent years, so I wanted electronic muffs that would cut out whenever a shot was made.  So of course I again went to the top and bought some Walker’s Quad Power Muffs.  First time out of the box in my back yard they sounded beautiful.  More birds and insects than I ever dreamed existed were singing for me right off of my deck. 

Man, I thought, I can’t wait to show these to my hunting buddies.  They’ll love ‘em!  A couple of weeks later, we were back down at the range, and I told Ted to give these a try.  He did, and immediately asked me why he was getting so much static in the left ear.  I took them from him and heard… you guessed it… a scritttch sound clicking and popping out of one side of the headphones.   

A call to the manufacturer told me that I needed to deal with the retailer, in this case Cabela’s.  As was expected, they too were fantastic to deal with.  With no hassle at all, they told me that UPS would drop by my house to pick up the bad unit, and that a replacement set would be in my hands within two weeks.  I didn’t even have to pay shipping. 

So, although it always turns out fine in the end, it seems that no matter what I buy I’m going to get a defective one the first time around.  From weed-eaters to high priced electronics, I’m now in the habit of listening carefully for a scritttch sound before I get too attached to the unit.  I carefully save the boxes and receipts, knowing that I’ll soon be sending it back for a replacement.